How to come to terms that you are unique

It is so hard to understand someone’s situation if you have not experienced it, but that does not mean you have the right to place judgment. Yes, everyone is entitled to form their own opinion, but if someone is destined for a different path, your support can make a huge difference.

We often hear the stories about a child or teenager who has felt insecure and an outcast at school. They know they are different from the other children in school, but are unaware of what it is or why they feel different.

Imagine how a child must feel fearing the ridicule of other children at school, feeling alone and terrified, unable to speak to anyone for guidance regarding what they are feeling. Although it has become easier and more acceptable now to have a place to turn to discuss your feelings and concerns, especially in your teenage years, a young boy or girl facing these strange feelings is not even aware themselves of what guidance they are seeking.

I was privileged to have as my guest on this week’s episode of the Hankie Pankie Podcast, Oceana Breeze who is an inspiration to so many.

Oceana and I first connected when she was beginning her pursuit of a career as a trans webcam performer and reached out to me, as I was managing a new webcam website and was hiring new models.

The challenge she faced on our site was that because we were brand new, the management focused mainly on female performers performing for male performers. Although I had a variety of different performers on my team, it was difficult for them to gain a following or earn any tips during their shows. The majority of viewers on our site were just straight males.

As much as I wanted to encourage Oceana to continue her pursuit with our webcam page, I truly felt that she was going to be more successful on a larger site that had a bigger following in the trans cam girl category.

As my career began to take another direction, I moved on from being a talent manager for webcam performers and began to pursue other opportunities.

I was delighted when I was on an adult forum and there was Oceana introducing herself to everyone on the site.

When I approached Oceana and asked if she would be willing to appear as a guest on my sex-positive podcast and share her story with my listeners, I was beyond appreciative that she was willing to do so. I feel it is so important for people to understand what she went through as a child and what she still goes through today with judgment and acceptance.

Her story began as a young boy, raised in Canada. We touched on her family and also a childhood accident regarding playing ball and a fence that cause significant injuries. Oceana shared with me that even as a child she was aware she felt different and was not like the other boys in school, but was unaware of why.

Oceana went on to marry a woman and was in a committed relationship for 10 years before finally facing the truth that this life was to be lived as a woman and was ready to come forward and face the truth she had known all along as a young boy.

The first step was getting his wife to understand and feel compassion, which was the most wonderful thing to hear that she did. The 2nd challenge was for the family to accept what their son was about to share with them and show their support. Obstacle 3 was the most challenging from what I understand approaching her place of employment with a long-standing career, and sharing her plans to make the change full time.

She shared with me that her supervisor was very understanding and accepting of her choice. She began slowly coming to work each day, just wearing something a little more feminine than the previous day, and slowly progressed.

We discussed where she is at now with her job, her relationship status, and her desire for what is next. It was refreshing to hear that Oceana is still working with the same company, and is remains friends with her first spouse.

Oceana now lives with her boyfriend and together, they have embarked on a career as webcam performers. She has begun the start of her surgical transformation and is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

As I often say on my Podcast and in my articles, we cannot judge anyone until we have been in their shoes. I also do not believe that we can give valid advice regarding a situation we have not experienced firsthand. However, we can offer our support, a listening ear, and no judgment.

As far as I am concerned, Oceana Breeze is an inspiration to more people than I think she realizes. Not only for others in the Trans community but anyone struggling to find their true self. My hope is that my readers and listeners become more aware of maybe someone close to them who might be struggling with a similar situation.

We as humans need to stop laying blame on society and accept the fact that each and every one of us is unique and special. Type of employment is irrelevant, religion is a choice, politics is a view, and ridicule and judgment must be a thing of the past. Let it never be forgotten, when it is all said and done, we all bleed the same color and we are in no authority to shun someone based on their personal situation.

I close this article with a dedication to a powerful woman. My new friend and inspiration to more than you know, Oceana Breeze, you are truly a breath of fresh air.

Till next time,

Coralyn Jewel

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