Lifestyle Club etiquette

What you need to know before attending a Swinger Event

As a lifestyle club owner and hostess, I am asked many times by both couples and singles what are the rules. Each lifestyle club will have their own set of rules but almost all follow the basic etiquette which I will lay out here.


It is important you care about how you are dressed. Hygiene is a must and nice clothes are important. Ican not tell you how many times I have been in a situation where the male half has not shaved and he smells funny. This goes for both females and males. You need to attend these events knowing that you might possibly be intimate with someone so be prepared. Shave, wash your hair, brush your teeth and
wear nice clothes.

Have you ever heard people say “The woman decides”

In the lifestyle, it is customary that the ladies begin a conversation with each other. When the ladies are comfortable then the possibility of “play” has more of a chance of happening and happening successfully.

Club Rules

Most clubs will have similar rules such as no cell phones, no photos, do not touch anyone and do not invite yourself into a “play situation”. If play is partaking in a playroom and the door is open then they want to be watched but do not get so close you are breathing on them and most important no chatting.

Is there food or drinks?

Almost all clubs are BYOB and will provide mixers. Some will have snacks and some will even cater a dinner.

What should you bring with you?

Most clubs do provide clean sheets, towels, lube, and condoms however, always have a play bag with you just in case. Also, bring your choice of alcohol and if you like a special mixer that is not common bring it just in case as well.

Watch your alcohol Intake

No one wants to be intimate with a drunk. It is important to pace yourself and drink lots of water. You do not want the reputation of “he/she was wasted last time I saw them”.


If you listen to my podcast, I am huge on communication. You and your partner must be on the same page. You must both agree for a “play” situation to occur. You must also discuss with each other any rules you have and after the play session, you need to discuss what you enjoyed and did not. No one at the club wants to be involved in any drama so remember to leave arguments at home.

Exchanging personal information

Ok so this one is different depending on the club. I have attended clubs where we were told to use a fake name and never give out our phone number to a couple we have met at the club. However, at my club, I feel we are grown adults.

If you meet someone you want to see again go ahead and exchange information.

If you forget to do this and contact the club owner afterward, most likely they will pass your info on to the other couple. I never give out personal information.

Hopefully, this will help you have a better understanding of what to expect and what rules to follow when you do choose to embark on your first swinger party.

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