For those of you who have read my book in its entirety, I think I have had my share of challenges, sadness, failure and success.
Putting my story out there for the world to hear was my first step in accepting who I am today. In a way, I feel it was the push I needed to start healing myself from the inside and share for others to see they are not alone.
These past two years have been very challenging due to the pandemic and the on going mandates, we have all had to endure.
Although, in my career, things have been more positive for me then negative, I still sometimes feel like I am fighting an uphill battle with no end in site.
I know I will not always make the right choices and sometimes the wrong ones can be very costly. However, I continuously remind myself that I made it this far and nothing ever goes as planned.
With the loss of a whole year unable to attend tradeshows, book signings or host seminars, I tried to turn my goals to other projects. A documentary is almost complete based on my first book and I am working on the 2nd book if my series.
I tried something I had never even fathomed and began my own Podcast. I then really stepped out of my comfort zone and embarked on the CBD personal lubricant industry, which I entered with not much experience.
I have taught myself these past two years how to build my own websites and studied things such as source coding and HTML coding. Technology once foreign to me is now becoming second nature.
I educated myself on the CBD market from reading, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts and then 2 years of trial and error with product testing.
Little did I know the journey I was about to embark on entering another industry, also undergoes continued scrutiny.
Beyond finding the right bottle, designing the label and then figuring out shipping to me, California has its own set of rules.
No one warned me of the next 3 challenges that came with this project. With a bottle already designed, label and printing underway, I received a notification for a possible rejection of my Trademark application. The time and energy to prove Coralyn Jewel Lubricant is not competing with the apparent Jewel tampon registered trademark was an undertaking to say the least.
Then, how about the COA that I was required to possess prior to retailing my product. For my readers to know, this is a certificate of analysis that the product needs to be tested by a 3rd party lab and meets all requirements to be legal to sell.
Sadly, there was more challenges as I proceeded to apply for product liability insurance. Apparently, CBD personal lubricant is actually considered a “medical device” therefore premiums were tripled and many insurance carriers won’t touch CBD products, let alone a CBD personal lubricant product.
You know the saying, ” but wait there’s more!”
Try finding a merchant account to process online payments. The constant merchant accounts canceling my accounts after I built a website compatible with their platform, even though they had been told from the beginning what the product was.
I thought the Adult Industry was a challenge but, now after experiencing the CBD industry, its difficult to say who has to fight harder to run a business.
Now if all these obstacles just in the CBD market were not enough and an ongoing pandemic, the Adult Industry was under scrutiny again.
Numerous adult platforms were pulling the opportunity for content creators to monetize their content due to the credit card companies adding more restrictions. Social media accounts were being taken down after years of hard work building up a following.
How about trying to find work performing as many performers, directors and producers were still a bit weary of possibly catching the Corona Virus. The testing Costs were also raised $35 as every time a STD panel was ran an extra fee for a Covid test was required to shoot. Although a Talent test is valid now 2 weeks in the industry , the Covid test needed to be retested every 48 hours.
So let’s look back on the challenges thus far. February 2019 I make my comeback after being retired for 4 years and 24 days later Pandemic begins.
Any income from weddings, swinger events or shooting scenes was not in the foreseeable future. However, on the bright side, while being quarantined at home Ifinished my book.
My book published June 15th 2020 and became a #1 International Best-Seller. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can see it. I really believe it’s there and I feel something different internally.
Remember earlier I mentioned that feeling of accepting myself for who I am today even though I knew some of my choices may not have always been the right one. I was finally accepting me, proud of me and began to understand why I had been faced with so many obstacles along my journey, but this time I embraced the challenges as I believed they were preparing me for something.
If you may have noticed, everything mentioned in this entry has to do with career challenges and obstacles that we still face in our society today. I know that not every choice I made since the release of my book was the right choice, however, I am now able to internally understand why sometimes things don’t go as planned.
My willpower and emotions were being put to a very rigorous test. I have to as the saying goes, “keep my eye on the prize” and refrain from detouring off my path.
If you ask me what was my biggest regret since my book released, I would have a very hard time actually having a regret and let me share why.
Had I not embarked on the CBD market I would not now have the knowledge and experience regarding the possible benefits of a CBD lubricant. I never would have been given the opportunity to speak at CBD tradeshows regarding the possible sexual benefits a CBD personal product can do.
Had I not stood up to my father and remained stubborn and angry, I don’t believe the relationship would have improved. Instead with a lot of heart ache and tears, amending the relationship has begun.
After my divorce from my husband, I had not really been able to maintain a long-term boyfriend. However, my most recent relationship with a man lasting over 3 years was toxic. I believe if I had stayed to prove everyone around me that I was relationship material all these other “things” may not have happened.
So as I write this entry while traveling to Nevada for the New Year Celebration, I ask myself , was any of this worth it. From ice skating, through the injuries, the pain killers, to my involvement in the Swinger community, my divorce to a career in porn and a courtesan in a legal brothel. Did I screw up my life? Is my dad right when he says, I am so smart and I could have been anything I wanted to be, but I chose to do this with my life.
Is this a fair observation? So I sit on those plane as 2021 comes to and and and I asked myself, did I screw up?
I could have been successful at anything I put my heart and mind too but I chose to do this I’d what was said to me. Well, here is what
I, Coralyn Jewel am now a #1 International best-selling Author with a BA and now studying for a master’s certification in Human sexology.
I, Coralyn Jewel own a Swingers Community for 10 years now with over 18,000 members that I built on my own.
I, Coralyn Jewel became a wedding planner and was voted couples choice award winner 5 years in a row.
I, Coralyn Jewel am now going into my second year as the host for a sex positive Podcast and I am traveling and sharing my story at seminars nationwide.
I, Coralyn Jewel am helping couples overcome various obstacles in their relationships with my coaching.
I, Coralyn Jewel am now booked to speak on panels for the CBD market. I travel and aware my story at seminars nationwide.
I could have been anything I wanted to be.
In just this past year I have received more letters in the mail and e-mails from attendees and clients thanking me for helping them. Many were ready to give up and end it all, but something I said or something I wrote helped someone continue to fight.
So I now know, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Every day I continue to challenge myself with more education, more reading, more listening and getting inside the minds and hearts of my clients both webcam and through coaching.
I won’t stop learning and I will never again look at myself with disappointment of what I chose to do with my life. My saying that I share and live by now, “Live your life for you. You only have one life to live its your life so LIVE IT.”
Till next time, don’t judge others for the path they are on as there is a reason we stray before finding our destiny.