Reflection Part 1
As 2021 soon comes to a close, I wanted to take this time to reflect on 2020 and 2021, two of the most challenging years for so many people in our world. From the loss of loved ones, to lost jobs, financial turmoil, emotional stress and disheveled families throughout our entire world, I thought I would share some positives that I personally am thankful for.
I want my readers to read this entry in its entirety. It is of significant length, but I truly feel if each and everyone of you take 20 minutes out of your day, you will find your connection to one of my guests.
This is not meant as a bragging entry, but instead it is my way of sharing my true discovery about myself on my journey which is far from over.
With the pandemic, and being forced to stay home with the lack of social communication, I began to really reflect on who I am, who I want to be, where do I want to go and what am I really doing to make a difference. It was this time of self discovery and self appreciation that it all began to make sense to me.
As mentioned in previous articles, my life has thrown me quite a number of curve balls to say the least, and, never would I have seen myself immersed in the Adult Industry in so many different ways.
In just a little over a year, I am fully driven to continue to succeed in all my endeavors, from running my swingers club and my wedding planning business, while still working in the adult industry as a performer, a lifestyle coach and a motivational speaker.
With the major accomplishment of my 1st book becoming an International Best-seller and then embarking as a host on my first podcast , I am now challenging myself to complete my 2nd book, while filming the documentary of my 1st one.
I am also writing articles, not just for my various websites but now for other companies as well. As a student, let’s just say that English grammar and spelling were far from my strength. However, daily I get at least one, if not more messages from a podcast listener, a member of my Swingers club or a fan reading my blog entry, that I just made an impact on their life in one way or another.
I began to realize that if I make a mistake with a spelling error or grammatical error, which trust me, I know I do, it becomes irrelevant to my readers, members and listeners. They choose to follow me for what I can offer them to incorporate into their lives. I feel a connection with so many of them and I feel they have an unbiased connection with me.
However, in all of my accomplishments during the pandemic and months following, I can 100% say without a doubt in my mind that my appreciation is to those who have made my journey thus far, so rewarding.
Reflection Part 2
I entered the adult industry late in life at the age of 35. This was an unknown territory, with a less than favorable reputation to many. I knew no one and I knew nothing about the industry.
I did not know the history of pornography or who were the legendary performers. I had no idea what the various award shows were nor the history behind them. I had never heard of Carter Steven’s, Sharon Mitchell or Nina Hartley. I had no clue about 42nd street, Plato’s retreat or even that producing pornography was at one time illegal.
I was a woman entering a whole new world, intrigued to understand but frightened for what could be.
As my career has progressed along the way, I have met performers, photographers, directors and journalists who have guided me in my course and decision making and I am ever so grateful for all of their help.
My reasoning for this entry, done in three sections, was that I was thinking about the next couple episodes that will air on my podcast and what blog I wanted to write to correlate with each guest, as I do every week.
As I wrote down the names of each weeks upcoming guests that would be airing on my podcast such as, Eric Monti, Richard Pacheco , Lily Craven, Sean Elliot, Luc Wilder, Alexandra Silk and many others, it dawned on me that the most rewarding & learning experiences from my career thus far are from my guests sharing their stories and continuously teaching me things I never knew. I realized it was these people, each in their own way, who are my driving force to continue to fight and to never give in or give up.
My mind has been educated on topics from Kink to BDSM, gaining a better understanding surrounding these topics. From my in person interview with LA Kink Shrink who shared his journey into Polyamory to his current lifestyle and how he chose to focus on patients needing help understanding and accepting their own kinks too.
I had the honor of then interviewing one of the most well known and well respected BDSM trainers, instructors and author of the book, Enso, Orpheus Black who willingly shared his background regarding his rough childhood in a less than desirable neighborhood and how he thrived to achieve a highly successful relationship as a master 24/7 with 2 submissive, both whom were present at the interview. His successful relationship, career and accomplishments were mind-blowing to me. I saw power in him, strength, perseverance and most of all compassion.
Let me not forget this amazing couple from Canada, Tara and Andre who took time to share with me how they became involved in a polyamory relationship and why they now offer a safe haven for others who are curious or involved in this alternative way of living. My most heartfelt moment was not during the interview itself, but weeks after when I was just browsing the Facebook feed before heading to bed and I stopped on Tara. She had tears in her eyes and was addressing her community members. She was sharing her real emotions and her battle with her own father not accepting her as his daughter for her choice she had made to be with Andre in a polyamory lifestyle. Why did this touch me so hard? I saw every single piece of me in Tara. I saw her just wanting her daddy to accept her as I want my father to accept me. I saw the pain she was feeling as much as the pain I feel. I saw her strength to her members and her encouraging words to each of them, just as I stand and offer the same at my seminars to performers in the industry struggling with family not accepting them, or for my Swinger community members hiding their true identity in fear of judgment. Two women, Tara and Coralyn from two different countries involved in two different careers and fighting the same uphill battle of trying to get people to stop judging the way someone else chooses to live their life. It was this moment as I browsed the feed that I felt my true connection to Tara and I am forever grateful for her strength to share her story and continue to help others be who they want to be.
My most recent guest, specializes in the Kink and BDSM community, Sir Ezra. His recent accomplishment includes publishing his first book, Mindfully Fucking, and he too shared how he found the Kink and BDSM world and the career path it took him. Now working as an intimacy relationship coach, BDSM instructor and the creator of the first scholarship program for students to study the history and training being the BDSM community.
I have had scientists such as Aaron Headley, from Time To Squirt, share his knowledge on the erogenous zones in women along with the difference between when a woman squirts versus a female ejaculation orgasm. He was voted most likely to succeed in high-school and he chose to invent a watch that measures the frequency and velocity when a woman is penetrated that can possibly assist in her having a female ejaculation.
Psychologists, Therapists, to Relationship coaches from all across the world have taken time to air on my Podcast, to share how they are making a difference.
My interview with Viloshni, a relationship coach who also happens to be from South Africa, my country of birth, felt compelled to enter this career field and help others after she had experienced abuse at home from her own husband and father of her children.
She runs Ultimacy Online, and now helps others after she shared with me the strength it took to leave her situation and be a role model for her 2 daughters. She made a decision that she needed to be strong so her daughters would see that strength and learn from their mother. Her story touched me in so many ways and I am forever grateful for Veloshni as a new friend.
Then I had the privilege to interview, Dr. Tom Murray who delighted us with astonishment along with silly laughter with some of his shocking patient’s stories. He explained how he embarked on each situation with an open mind and sense of understanding and willingness to listen and help his patient.
Looking back on my interview with Dr. Lee Phillips, who I think could possibly be one of the most intelligent people thus far that I have had the privilege to meet and interview. With his extensive educational knowledge on top of his way with people and how he interacts, Dr. Phillips opened my mind to the unheard of by many and the unaccepted by most. He won’t judge, he won’t criticize, instead, he will listen and guide. His level of education combined with his undeniably empathetic nature and understanding of anyone he crosses paths with in my mind are medal worthy.
I had the pleasure of hearing the story from Dr. Michael Perry, who’s entire life from childhood was to prepare for a career as a priest. Months before attaining this goal not only did he make the choice to leave the Church but embarked on a career as a sex therapist, earning his PHD and then began producing and directing a sex educational instructional DVD’s series with actual performers having sex on film.
The Kinky Koach was a couple that I adored from the get-go. It was this couple that really showed my listeners that you can not judge someone as lower class or uneducated because they choose to live a lifestyle of Kink. BDSM, polyamory or work in the adult industry. The female half, Stephanie holds a number of certifications and degrees and her male partner known as Fox, prior to working with Stephanie at her practice was a former investigator. This dynamic duo show true love can be achieved in an alternative relationship style.
So many authors who shared with us why they felt compelled to write their books, some fiction and some non. From a feminist erotic writer with woman characters always having the power, Megan Hussey shared how her family still is unaware she writes these types of books. How about Jane Boon, who felt compelled to write a book when she had been introduced briefly to the dungeon experience with a female Dominatrix friend. Jane’s need to dig deeper into this world embarked on extensive research that she actually trained as a Dominatrix to create her perfect story.
My guest, Bitchmaker, also known as Kiki, who makes a living as a Dominatrix with a large percentage of her fan base coming from her expertise in financial domination. She is a woman entrepreneur and nothings going to stop her.
I met brand new male performers who were willing to share with me how they got involved in a career in the adult industry after losing their jobs during the pandemic, such as Jim with BULL STUDIO. who is now quite successful as a webcam performer, producer and opening an online adult store.
From other performers sharing their stories such as Nicky Rebel who is an Adult male performer and alongside his wife, together run a successful production company.
I met Cici Anders who switched from a career in Cyber Security to adult performer and webcam model. Dee Siren is a force not to be reckoned with. This is a woman that shows strength and tenacity from her highly successful career in porn, to owning her own production company. She fought after almost losing her life in a car accident to attain more success every single day. Nothing is going to stop this woman from reaching above and beyond.
My good friend and one of my guides who helped me navigate my way in this field, Dick Chibbles, an adult male performer, gave me time in my home studio for his interview. I learned things about him and his story that even over an 8 year friendship I was unaware of. He is also now also a published author and shared how he became most well known for his clown porn.
Female performers such as Micky Lynn who started at the tender young age of 18 and educated me on what it was like to be a dancer in New York at a place called Show girls to her early start in porn. She shared her successful marriage and later I had the honor to meet her amazing husband and son who I can say without a doubt in my mind is a very mature, well mannered man. Micky is the epitome of Golden Era porn and along with being an amazing mother and wife, Micky is making a return to the industry and Miss Lynn is going to soar even higher this time around.
My good friend and one of my guides as I mentioned above, was Adult female performer Sable Renae who appeared as a guest and shared her path on how she became involved in this world. Her story from nursing to full time life at a brothel and her polyamory lifestyle to her career now as a full time nurse was just the tip of the iceberg.
I met a younger woman in the industry, Lonna Wells, known to many as the TACO BELL GIRL from the media coverage regarding claims of being fired from her job during the pandemic due to her prior career in the adult industry. However. this was not our interview’s focus. We talked about life in a small town in Arkansas, and how filming pornography is still illegal there today. We talked about her marriage, her children and her bout with cancer that she is still challenged with today. I was able to get to know her as a person, a mother and wife who has made mistakes, but was just trying like so many others, to be the best she can be for her family.
I also had the honor to welcome a new performer into the industry who I like to call a woman with the perfect amount of Southern Bell charm. Marvellee, who although new to being a performer is coming at the industry full force. I saw a lot of me in her with her determination to succeed in this career field and as time has progressed since our interview, I have not a doubt in my mind this little sweetheart is going to rise to the occasion.
I interviewed the owner of Pineapple Society, a non profit organization offering 24 hour support to anyone in the industry who is possibly fighting depression and thoughts of suicide. Lena who was an adult performer prior to embarking on delicate territory to say the least, when she became aware of the significant amount of suicides in the Adult industry due to bullying, and lack of support. Her organization thrives today and this is a woman who took a risk and has succeeded.
How about other jobs in this industry that men are doing. I met and interviewed Ralph Greco, author of numerous books and one of the lead writers for an online site called, Sexpert.
Then I met Bruce Friedman who with his extensive experience in marketing found his niche in the selling and buying of Adult websites. Bruce also hosts a weekly Podcast, Adult Site Broker Talk and together he has also been a significant guide helping me navigate my way through this industry.
Each and every one of my guests have had a significant impact on me personally , but I saved these last 5 for my ending. It is these 5 that have personally touched a part of my heart that even when writing this, brings tears to my eyes.
Reflection Part 3
Remember when I shared with you that I really did not know anything about porn, this is 100% the truth. I knew nothing. No laws, no famous people, I did not know that testing was not required in the late 70’s. I did not know that there were higher ups involved in the productions. I am Jewish and was blown away at how many Jewish people were involved in porn. Ok you get my drift, I Coralyn Jewel did not know shit, but thanks to these 5 below I owe them my thanks for the education they provided me and my listeners.
I will begin with Sharon Mitchell. Sharon Mitchell is a legend in this industry, not just as a performer but as a strong woman who overcame many obstacles and triumphs. Sharon taught me about Plato’s retreat which was, if I understood correctly, one of the first real “IT” places as a Swinger club. She said everyone went there from musicians to actors to Porn Stars. It was the place to be and drug central. Sharon shared with me how she was responsible for starting the program AIM which led the way to talent being tested for various STD’s frequently prior to shooting. I had no idea that at one time the industry did not test talent prior to shooting scenes or films.
Today, performers are required to have a negative test every 14 days when shooting in the industry. Sharon shared with me the stories of dancing burlesque and how she almost died from a crazed fan who followed her home one evening after performing and attacked her In her own apartment. She shared with me the way she was treated by police when they finally arrived on the scene and just assumed it was a trick gone bad. Sharon shared her battle with drug addiction and her fight to become sober. Today Sharon works with youth battling drug addiction and I could tell she too found her calling in life and is happy with her ability to help others fight their addictions.
Another interview that really opened my eyes to what people refer to as the Golden Era of porn was Eric Edwards. Eric sent me copies of films he directed as well as starred in. He shared with me what an adult film production entailed from sets, lights, props, costumes, hair, make up and an investment sometimes $25,000 and up. I had no idea as the industry now is nowhere how it was during the Golden Era. Adult films today are shot sometimes just using a cell phone, no make up or hair and it is really just sex sometimes rather degrading with no storyline and no real effort.
I had the chance to also interview another male performer from the Golden Era, Eric Monti. He shared his story as a middle school social studies teacher and how after 7 years teaching made the switch into a career in porn. He shared how during his schooling girls showed no interest in him and when he became involved as an adult performer, only then were women giving him the attention he wanted as a teenager. He taught me the difference between what it was like to shoot porn on the East coast versus the West coast. I never knew that the East coast had actually started the pornography industry. I had no idea about 52ns Street where you could go to the theater and put a quarter in to look through the peephole and watch a film. I had heard of people refer to 42nd street in New York but did not know the significance of it and how it was cleaned up in the late 90’s when the Mayor of New York decided he wanted New York City more family friendly and began shutting down the adult theaters and shops.
Next. I had the honor to interview Mr. Richard Pecheco. It was on a zoom call with other performers retired and active as well as fans discussing the upcoming Exxxotica Event. The entire call I was searching the internet, trying to find out who these knowledgeable people on the screen were. I had already at that time interviewed Eric Edwards Micky Lynn and Sharon Mitchell but I was curious to who Eric Monti was and the two other gentlemen were, one bottom right by the name of Howie formerly Richard Pecheco and the bottom left a man by the name of Sean Elliot. I was intrigued and wanted to know more.
Mr . Pecheco agreed to do an interview with me and prior to the interview he let me know he had read my book and was kind enough to send me a copy of his. While my book Is 138 pages, His novel is over 700 pages filled with his story and his life as a performer. He shares his marriage, how they met and even talks about how he got involved first just by a female photographer friend who suggested he submit his photos to an adult magazine. He later became Playgirl Man of the Year. He was the first man to be photographed with an erection. His prelude for his book is written by a woman who happens to be my absolute favorite female comedian and actresses, Whoopie Goldberg who knew him before he was even a performer. Today, Richard known to many as Howie is still married to the same wife and is a father to two amazing children as well as an author and mainstream actor. I still have so many questions for him and hope to meet him in person to just listen and learn.
My final guest in my blog entry for Reflections I saved for last. I can not put into words the strange connection that happened between him and I just after that zoom meeting prior to Exxxotica. Mr. Sean Elliot shared his story with me a little different from the others as he was not a guest on the podcast until we actually spent 4 days together in Chicago.
Sean Elliot was a college graduate and was going on to study pre-law. He too, was Jewish and went on to pursue a career in mainstream acting. He answered an ad in the newspapers at the young age of 18. The ad was looking for actors and the role described said nudity might be involved. Sean applied for the job and before he knew it, Sean was embarking on a career as a male adult performer.
I learned things from him that blew my mind. He shared stories about Ron Jeremy’s and how he had to deliver the finished content from a shoot in the Catskills to New York City when he received a call from Ron Jeremy’s himself saying don’t drop the film we are all in jail. It was mind blowing to me the money that went into porn and the corruption. The drugs and partying and lack of protection and yet, my guests who took time to share with me, each in their own way, were successful in their careers in the industry and equally successful in other endeavors they took on.
There are so many more people I want to interview, learn from and share their words of wisdom. I spent 3 days in Los Angeles recently on set with my good friend and director of my documentary, Jake Crew, who I will soon be having on as a guest. I had no idea about some of the things he shared with me about his life, his career and his knowledge of the industry. Every day I meet someone who I feel will be an avid contributor to my listeners and readers to expand our knowledge and broaden our minds.
Just today, I had the honor to interview Tod Hunter, a writer for the AVN’s, but also a dear friend I met early on in my career. today, I learned so much more about this man and my respect for him grew even more.
Every single time I bring a guest on, I learn something. Hosting a podcast has reiterated to me what I have thought all along. Every single person in this world has a story. I believe we all have had obstacles, we all have suffered loss and we all figure out a way to keep going. Then I also learned some do not have the strength to go on and they instead take drastic measures. I am a firm believer we can help put a stop to people who feel that there is no other option for them and no place to turn.
Take this from my Reflection article if you take away anything at all, these three things:
- Every single person HAS A STORY TO SHARE
- Every single one of us can learn by listening to someone else’s story.
- WE, as a whole, need to stop judging others and provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on and encouragement to others to be who they want to be.
If you have attended my seminars. read my book, read my articles or listen to my Podcast, then you know I finally found happiness at the age of 40 and you too can find happiness at any age. It is never too late to share your story and it is never too late for you to listen to someone’s story. We are all people and although we may choose a differ path from what a friend, family member or loved one might envision, it’s not your life to live, it is their choice.
Don’t Judge it or scrutinize, instead embrace it and embrace them. We are all in the end human beings who bleed the same color and yearn to just be loved and accepted.
In closing, from the bottom of my heart. I am beyond grateful to all of you who took time out of your busy schedules to guest on my podcast and have the courage to share your story. Together, you are in my eyes, the POWER of our future generations.