SAFETY IN THE LIFESTYLE AND BEYOND

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Have you made the decision as a single or couple to embark on a new sexual journey of discovery into the Swinger Lifestyle community? It can be a very exciting initial decision to make the move solo or coupled and simultaneously there are both nervous and excited butterflies. Now that you have made this choice, do you know how to stay safe?  Does everyone use condoms and should you bring your own? Your head is full of excitement and nervous energy simultaneously and this is the reason why you need to be aware f some precautions and how to stay safe.  

Now, when I refer to staying safe, there are numerous variables to the word “safety” and this can apply to regular vanilla dating as well. As a lifestyle club owner, my staff and I do everything we can to screen members prior to attending an event, provide a safe and clean environment along with supplying a variety of supplies for our attendees. I will focus on three of the top safety precautions that I cover in my coaching sessions with my client.

VERIFICATION       

Let’s begin with meeting another couple or single online. If the dialogue is going well then it is time to move to a phone call and ideally a face-to-face online meeting video chat first. There are numerous free platforms available to you such as skype, zoom, facetime, Whatsapp, and even Snapchat where you can make a verification video saying who you are while holding a piece of paper with time and date to confirm you are indeed corresponding with the person(s) whom you met online.

Sadly, catfishing is a thing of the time and all too often a couple may meet someone online, believe they are speaking with another couple, and then show up for the initial meeting and it is a single male or female, or an ex-spouse who won’t let the grudge go. Anyone can say anything in a profile and they can and do steal images. Many scammers are excellent with their verbal skills and just a phone call is not enough to verify they are who they say they are.

You also have a responsibility to be verifiable so they can make sure you are safe. One suggestion is to create a Facebook page as a couple, you do not need to show your face in the photos if you are concerned about your discretion and privacy, as yes, Facebook does have facial recognition, however, the ability to easily facetime someone without downloading a skype or zoom platform is sometimes simpler for the less experienced techie. 

If someone you are communicating with refuses to video call you on a platform then there is a reason for that. I have heard every excuse imaginable such as, I fell asleep, my kids are in the room, or my favorite, I don’t have a phone. You can run a phone number to verify they are who they claim to be through a variety of apps and even see reports if they have scammed others.

DRINKS ( ALCOHOLIC & NON ALCOHOLIC) 

We all want to let lose and enjoy ourselves, however, over indulging opens the possibility for you to maybe do some things that you will regret the following day.    This segment really applies to anyone who is dating and out in a public location such as a bar, night club or Swinger event for example. All too often we see in the news someone received a date rape drug in their drink and woke up in an unknown place unaware of any recollection of what happened. Sadly, this happens way too often, so how do you avoid this?

First, never leave your drink unattended and if you need to use the restroom either take it with you or leave it with your friend or partner and make sure they watch it. If whomever you are with is overly intoxicated, take your drink with you. If you are around a group of people talking you will notice many will either place their drink on the table and then turn their back to talk with the group leaving the drink wide open for someone to slip something in it.

I once saw a video posted online at a Spring break pool party where the young lady had her drink in her right hand, elbow bent, and drink was more to her side than in front of her. She was dancing with some friends and it is very apparent in his video that a man who had been watching her from the other side of the room walked right over and put a pill in her drink. Completely unaware she continues to dance and then she goes out of the security camera frame when this man is seen leading her way. This vivid vision will forever be implanted in my memory and is a reminder of how quickly something can happen if you are not careful.

 

                                                           SAFE SEX 

With an abundant amount of knowledge available on the Internet in regard to STD symptoms and prevention, I am still blown away when I see a profile post that blatantly says they    only engage in “bareback” (no condom sex). I am also shocked at how many Adult Industry content creators approach me to shoot content, no condoms and when  I inquire on compensation and test reimbursement, they say they do not follow industry standards 2-week testing protocol. 

If a performer is fairly new talent and inexperienced, they could easily be persuaded to shoot content untested and underpaid. As Adult Industry performers we have an added level of responsibility to keep our friends and co-workers safe and we must share our guidance with new talent. I try to educate through my various media outlets the dangers of unprotected sex and knowing who you are working with. The same with meeting someone online for a Swinger meet-up and doing your face verification and background check holds true for working as a performer and even just regular vanilla dating site.

CATFISH EXAMPLE

I will close with 2 examples, both rather recent. I received a text from an ex-boyfriend inquiring that he saw I was single and had a profile listed on a vanilla dating app known as Plenty Of Fish (POF). Although that is where he and I met 10 years prior, I did not have a live profile on that app anymore. He took a screenshot of the image and the complete profile and sure enough, someone was pretending to be me. To be very clear, not pretending to be Coralyn ( the porn star) but the house mom who was weak and needed company. Immediately upon my friend messaging the “character” on the other side saying, “ it was good to see me back “ my ex was blocked and the profile was pulled 10 minutes later after we reported it.

SCAMMERS

I truly could put together an entire novel on this subject alone as some people truly have nothing better to do than waste someone’s valuable time for no apparent reason. Just this evening I was on a job networking site looking for producers, directors, and photographers in various locations nationwide to apply for work while I was touring that city. Out of the 7 job posts where I fit their search criteria, 6 had phone numbers on their listing 1 linked to a website no number. Before I sent in my cover letter and application I ran those 6 numbers on my program and 4 out of the 6 had 4 pages of warnings from models, performers, and escorts to beware of this scammer, time-waster, weirdo, and so on. Think for a second how many new performers would apply and correspond on the platform arranging a shoot all to find out they have traveled and been stood up or even worse, arrive at a location to shoot and are greeted with something I don’t even care about to imagine in my head.

Sadly, the world we live in is a crazy place. I hate to say it, but I have become jaded & have difficulty with trust, where I used to be more generous, easy, going, and welcoming. I’m now very guarded due to numerous experiences of betrayal from people close to me, my trust must be earned. 

I offer courses and coaching on safety in the workplace and safety in regards to dating and the Lifestyle, as this is just the tip of the iceberg. I can be reached on the contact me page for anyone seeking guidance on their journey through my platform coralynjewel.com

Till next time,

Be true to yourself, value yourself & trust your intuition. If it sounds fishy, tastes fishy and smells fishy, YOUR GUT IS SAYING TO MOVE ON

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