Trust Your Gut

person writing on white form paper

If you are an avid reader of my articles they normally have to do with a podcast guest or something I am experiencing in my life. 

Today I write just to share what I am watching someone else go through right now and it reminds me of the importance of getting everything in writing. 

This relates to everyone in one way or another. It could be a job you are doing for someone as a freelancer, or selling something and relinquishing control whether a tangible product or a business. 

This applies to a model for a photoshoot, a webcam client or an adult industry video shoot.  It is so important to have everything in writing. 

Let me begin with a webcam example. If a new client comes to me asking if I am OK for a 15 min show and do I like to be dominated? Well, that depends and I request details. As the performer I always ask in writing prior to them paying for my services to explain in detail, type of show they are seeking, how long and some examples of how dominant they plan to be on the show.  Too many times a client will say one thing and then in a show overstep boundaries.   When I stop the show they say they want their money back.

As the performer, you need to have written evidence of what was agreed upon. This is the same in regard to a photoshoot or video shoot. It is not ok to agree to a 2 hour implied nude shoot and then when you arrive the photographer is pressing his luck with requests not discussed. Bring your e-mail correspondence or texts with you to a shoot and refer to them. 

For those of you who have read my book, I have been backstabbing and used more times then I can count. Although there are people I am sure that say I am a bitch , I am actually quite the opposite. I trust too easily and I take on too much trying to help everyone. 

Even after I wrote my book and was embarking on the idea of a documentary, the person who agreed to help edit and all terms discussed in writing went back on his word 2 years later and I was left searching for someone else. When I did find someone else, who was well aware of why I was seeking another editor, agreed to do the editing and he too back out after wasting another 3 months on a project already well overdue.

I asked numerous times to put together a written contract and it was put off for almost 2 months and then I received an email wanting something different then agreed upon. 

Sadly, even a contract does not really do any good especially if you live in California. We are a sue-happy state and even if someone wins a case, the opponent can just appeal and it starts all over again. 

I wish I had better advice on this matter of getting everything in writing,  and I am always happy to hear your ideas and comments. I can only say this has had a significant impact on how I trust people. The saying innocent until proven guilty does not stand with me, instead you are guilty of being a liar and deceitful until you prove to me you are a good person and will honor your word. 

I can say this though, trust your gut. Believe me when I say in many of the stories I shared in my book, my gut said don’t do it but I did not listen. 

I can honestly say, my gut has not been wrong yet. I have to teach myself to be a bit tougher and stand my ground. 

Listen to what your gut is trying to tell you, get everything in writing, as at least you have something to back up the agreement. 

You know the old saying, “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is”. 

Till next time,


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