For those of you who have read my book in its entirety, I believe you would agree, I have had my fair share of challenges, sadness, failure, and success. From my childhood dream of representing my birth country of South Africa in the Olympics to the realization that my dream would forever be just a dream. Earning a BA, meeting the man of my dreams, a fantasy wedding, and becoming a mother to not one, but two amazing children, I was on top of the world.
The climb to the top can feel like an eternity, yet the fall can happen in an instant. A whirlwind of failure, disappointment, and self-loathing had me questioning if I had the fight in me anymore.
Putting my story out there for the world to hear, was my first step in accepting who I am today. I feel it was the push I needed to begin healing from the inside and muster up the courage to share in hopes I can help others realize they are not alone.
Due to the pandemic and the ongoing mandates our country and the rest of the world have had to endure, it is imperative that we understand life is short and valuable. Each of us is given one life to live, isn’t it time to live for you?
As I reflect on my career, the rewards have outweighed the challenges, however, I sometimes feel that being sex-positive in any realm of life is an ongoing battle with the rest of society for acceptance.
We all know life is not perfect and we will hit bumps along the way, but I continue to remind myself, I made it this far and I can handle the curve balls that come my way. As I reflect on where I am now versus where I was 15 years ago, I never would have pictured myself where I stand today.
At the age of 42, I was already on a completely different path than what I planned when I was just a young bride-to-be at 23 years old. Standing at the altar with the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with saying our vows together,” till death do us part.”
Here I was almost 20 years later, in the middle of a pandemic, a divorced single mother, 2 children at home, and any chance of furthering my career at a standstill. I remember having a conversation with myself, call it a pep talk, that said you will not give up as my guardian angel whispered in my ear to stay strong for my boys.
I will never forget that moment as if a firecracker went off under my ass and I took off full force and never looked back. I finished a book that I had started almost 3 years prior and not long after publishing my book I earned a ranking as a #1 International Best-seller. I followed with directing a documentary based on my story. I began writing my 2nd book and decided on compiling a series of books. I began submitting my work to blogging platforms and continued to seek out opportunities that challenged me. I started a podcast and even designed and developed my own Swinger Lifestyle card game. If that was not enough, I dove headfirst into an industry I knew nothing about and created a CBD personal lubricant with a team from opposite ends of the country. I trademarked my company names and began to develop my brand.
I did not know why I was involved in so many different things and I had no idea where I was going with all of this but something said to keep going. I taught myself how to build my own websites and studied things once foreign to me were now becoming second nature.
I educated myself on the CBD market by reading, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and then I put my knowledge to the test. After two years of extensive testing and trial and error, Coralyn Jewel had her own intimate CBD lubricant branded and trademarked in my name.
I began receiving invites to speak at various tradeshows as a panelist regarding the possible sexual benefits of CBD lubricant. I was guiding my community members, steering them clear of the mistakes that caused me to lose my marriage. I began to want to learn more, study more, teach more, help more, and share more.
I was beginning to understand why I had to endure so much pain and heartache. Some would say, I began to see the light and stay focused keeping my eye on the prize.
My willpower and emotions were put to a very rigorous test and I passed. This blog entry was a direct result of someone very special to me saying these exact words, ” You could have been anything!! Anything!! AND YOU CHOSE THIS???
I stopped, almost unable to breathe gasping for air and fighting to hold back the tears, and then I sat down and I said to myself, ” What do you regret? As I sat there on the floor in the middle of my hallway in shock, filled with sadness but also an outrage of anger burning inside of me wanting to scream out as loud as I could. I asked myself again, “Was it all worth it, what do I regret?”
As I closed my eyes alone on the floor, I took myself from childhood through 2021, from ice skating, injuries, painkillers, to my involvement in the Swinger community, divorce, to my fitness company falling apart. A complete 180 career change taking a go as a stripper at the age of 35, to a job directing porn, then at 37 years old taking a job as a porn star leading to a brief stint as a courtesan in a legal brothel. It dawned on me right there and then, those words “AND YOU CHOSE THIS?” Let me share what, ” THIS IS”.
- I published a #1 International best-selling book on the market.
- I hold a master’s certification in Human sexology.
- I own a Swingers Community for 10 years now with over 18,000 members that I built on my own.
- I became a wedding planner and was voted couples choice award winner 5 years in a row.
- I am entering my second year as the host for a sex-positive Podcast and I am traveling and sharing my story at seminars nationwide.
- I am helping couples overcome various obstacles in their relationships with my coaching.
- I am almost completely booked for all of 2022 to speak at various Expo’s and educate on a number of panels.
- I am almost ready to release my documentary
- I developed my own CBD Lubricant brand
- I designed an Adult card game and trademarked it
- I was nominated for AVN Fan choice awards for hottest MILF 2022
- I was nominated for 3 different categories from ASN Lifestyle Awards in Best Lifestyle adult Educator website, Best Lifestyle, and adult Industry Erotic Writer, and Best Lifestyle Adult Educator.
- I was recently honored as the top 100 sexologists by Pleazeme sex-positive education platform
- I have been privileged to grace the cover of numerous publications such as AVN, NightMoves Magazine, Las Vegas Journal, XBiz, and a 4-page spread in both Eroticism Magazine and ASN Lifestyle Magazine.
I repeated the sentence in my head, ” You could have been anything you wanted to be, YOU CHOSE THIS!“.
In just this past year, I have received more letters and emails from attendees and clients thanking me for giving them the courage they needed to keep going, I now know, THIS! THIS! is exactly what I was supposed to choose.
Every day I continue to challenge myself with more education, more reading, more listening, and getting inside the minds and hearts of my clients both webcam and through coaching.
I won’t stop learning and I will never again look at myself with the disappointment of what I chose to do with my life.
My saying that I share and live by now is, “Live your life for you. You only have one life to live AND IT IS YOUR LIFE so LIVE IT.”
In closing, remember not to judge others for the path they are on as it is not your path to lead. Instead, walk by their side and support them on their journey.
Till next time,
Stay true to you